While I love working with people and opening them up to possibilities with their writing, I cannot make a person write. But I felt sad.

Writing is such a simple way to tap into our own soul, and yet we often wish to bypass it because it feels too hard, or because we fear what might come onto the page. Like when I was anxious about writing from my inner child: I didn’t want to know how mad at me she was for ignoring her, and how upset she was with some of her childhood experiences.

So, I understood a person ignoring their writing, being “too busy for it, ” puffing up with such importance that they have “no time for that.” After all, what might they write?

However, in not making time to write, whether it is that book you’re trying to lift off the ground, well, it’s just too bad. After all, you are the only one who can do it. If you don’t sit at your computer, or put pen to page, that book will never get done. You will talk about it as you sit in your rocking chair with your false teeth in the glass and your shawl around your shoulders, and you will bemoan it. You will have let yourself down.

Imagine how you’re going to feel when you’re 90. Will you be proud of yourself and for the body of work you’ve left here?

Will you be like my dear friend, Fred Cogswell, (former publisher of Fiddlehead Press) who on his last trip to the hospital, carried with him his 50th manuscript and asked his daughter, Kathleen, to first stop at the post office to mail it to his publisher? He passed away just a few weeks later, but he said that he was “finished” and had nothing more to write. He was 86.  I still read his poetry books and ‘hear’ his words. He took the TIME to write those poems.

Several years ago, I met  Diana Gabaldon at the Surrey Writer’s Conference. Outlander series is based on her books, and they are wonderful to watch. Way back then, she said that she wrote from midnight till 3 in the morning, because when she was starting out, she had three children to raise, a husband to tend to, and a job teaching at a university. But her books are now out in the world. She made the time to honor her ideas!

Will you do the same? Will you feel finished when your time is up? Will you know you’ve made the time to do your work? Will you leave this world the legacy of your poems, stories, and books?

Or… will you say, “I just don’t have the time.”

It is up to you — and only you.

I hope you make the time to write!

Sincerely,

Dr. Melba Burns

So, after a deep breath, I was able to view my sites through new eyes of appreciation. Eric reminded me that it was only my ego that was stressing me out. And he was right. In the past, I have not valued Christmastime, it’s only added more things I need to do. But when he reminded me that this is a season of Peace and Love I was finally able to put my hand on my heart, breathe deeply, and release the tension.

It was also a huge lesson in valuing what I have already written.

I ask you, dear reader, have you discounted what your writing offers to others? Have you taken time to see what you have already done, and to value it? Your writing comes from a deep place within you and has probably taken many hours of precious time to complete a book — so isn’t that worthy of your appreciation?  I think so. I hope this little piece today will remind you to be grateful for what you have written. And to keep on writing.

I just want to say how grateful I am for a good friend like Eric. Now, I can enjoy this season of Peace.

Yep, I was on my deck this morning doing just that. Why? Well, no more beautiful flowers will bloom if I don’t. It’s the way of nature.

Same with us, isn’t it?

Ask yourself, “What dead heads do I need to pull off in my life? What do I need to clean out of my home? What dead heads do I have in my writing?

In your life: Get clarity about your purpose, so that anything you do supports that. For example: If you are taking courses or seminars willy-nilly but they don’t actually further you along the path of your purpose, then clip them off. Let them go. If you find yourself running away from what you most value, then be aware of that. Choose to support your values and drop the aspects that lead you on detours. Let go of any dead heads. (This might refer to some acquaintances you’ve been hanging out with too!)

In your home: Get rid of stuff in your closets that you never use – so there is room for something new, a pair of new slacks, or a lovely top. If your closets are jammed, how could you even fit these new items in there? If magazines are stacked up in piles so high you nearly have to stumble over them, let them go. If you’re sneezing because of all the dust on your tables, take a cloth and clean it up those dust bunnies.

Let the dead heads go.

In your writing: This is often a challenge to yank off the dead heads.

So, how to deal with this issue?

1. Ask, What writing sits currently on my desk?
2. Am I working on it?
3. If not, file it, or cut off the dead heads. If you’ve already put some of those pages into books, then you don’t need to hang onto them. So, shred them.
4. Ah… breathe a sigh of relief at finding a clean space.
5. Ask, “What tugs at my heart? What jazzes me now?”
6. Then, give time to that project. You will think more clearly and your words will be able to flow onto the pages.
7. Acknowledge yourself for a job well done. Look in the mirror and say to yourself, “You are great. You are moving forward in your life now. The dead heads are gone and new blooms can flourish.”
8. Reward yourself. Give yourself a little present for that. Say, a latte at Starbucks, or a new notebook, or pen, or whatever.

When the detritus of these dead heads are plucked off, you will feel stronger, healthier and more joyful. As you move forward, smile and let your good feelings show! More blooms will happen now. Your stories will come to life!

© Melba Burns, Ph.D.

Are you hiding them because you fear you’ll upset one of your family or someone you love?

Have you just not gotten around to writing that story, you know, the one that haunts you, the one you dream about too often – the one that you deeply know you need to tell, because “I don’t have the time?”  Or have you simply tucked it away in the basement of your mind?

How does it feel to have it buried in that trunk under the rafters?

These are questions to ponder – to bother you actually – so you might actually put some of the story on paper.

Ask:  What if I don’t write this?  Won’t I have let myself down?

Ask: What am I waiting for?

 Ask the crucial question that the great French philosopher and poet, Gaston Bachelard (1884 – 1962), asked: “What was it for if I cannot speak it?”

Paraphrased, What was it for if you cannot write it?

I am trying to renew your belief in yourself as a creative being.

The above questions may be ways you can begin to foster that creativity:  to just put your pen on the page, or your fingers on the keys, and trust that what comes out is really okay.  It is you expressing yourself.

Sure, it’s scary to reveal some of your past, so you say, “Wouldn’t it just be better to keep it hidden? Ah, but what about the cost of that?

I spoke with a woman in her 90’s today who told me that her seventy-year-old daughter had a heart attack and nearly died. As this elderly woman shook her head sadly, she whispered to me, “She was always the one who kept everything inside.”

Many of us hold onto our old pain, and where does it go? Into cancer?  Into illness of some sort? Into anger? Into rage?  Where else is it supposed to go if the stuff doesn’t get expressed?

Writing your stories gives an outlet for the pain.

David Whyte, the poet, says to “Turn the pain into a poem.”

Or, simply turn your life experiences into stories – which may become novels.  Then, others could benefit from what you went through.  And you could finally let it go, see it from a new light on the pages, and eventually, rise above it and (if necessary) forgive yourself, or the persons involved. All in all, healing.

Wouldn’t it be better to write your story and let go of the “worst agony,” as Maya Angelou states?  Give it a try.  You might just surprise yourself with what flows onto your pages!

© Melba Burns, Ph.D.

What about the printer you said you’d buy?
When are you going to?
How can you type out finished poems until you have it?
Oh sure, go to another seminar,
Spend your money on more books
Organize your office one more time,
Water all the plants in the house,
Go through your files,
Tidy up your desk, sharpen your pencils…
But what about the investment of your time?
Do it!

Yes, I’m here to insist,
I’m your friend,
A Doctor of the Soul I’m called
And I want you to mend yours,
Speak out,
Shovel the sludge,
How else can you get the river of ideas flowing?
The fertile plants to bloom alongside its banks?

I don’t want to berate you
Or batter you into submission,
But I do want you to create!
Please listen to me,
Please, please do it,
Please!

(c) Melba Burns

Why? Because THEN I could not see its merit.

THEN, I felt scared to put myself out there.

THEN, I clearly was not ready.

Today, having worked for five weeks co-creating a website, I see the value in what this gal did. Today, I actually liked it!

So, what is the lesson here? Here are some ideas…

Sometimes, we’re just not ready to take the next step.

It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with where we are, or that we should beat ourselves up for it. There are many reasons that come up…

Perhaps we need to do some deeper work to discover that we’re not ready at that time.

Thus, it isn’t that the piece of work is not good – it’s just that our eyes refuse to see it. It’s just that our whole psyche won’t accept it at that time.

Bottom line?

Forgive yourself not acting then.

For me, I could not act at that time. I just wasn’t ready. There were too many other things going on in my life at that time. So, I have forgiven myself.

Maybe you’re not ready either because you may need to heal something within.

Perhaps you just need more time to “get” who you are and what you’re trying to present to others. Perhaps you’re feeling a bit fragmented and need to venture in and reclaim those dangling participles. So, make time to center yourself so you feel whole – so you do know what you want to express. If you write about it in your journal, it will eventually reveal itself to you. Trust that process.

Keep on writing, no matter what, because your writing matters!

© Melba Burns

There are so many ideas, so many projects to complete, so many blogs to write, so many classes to lead and tele-seminars to take – but where do I start?

Ever felt this way?

In earlier years, these fall days were clear: Prepare for school. Then, in later years, prepare the kids for school; go shopping for their clothes and supplies. Later, when they were gone, prepare myself for what I had planned for the fall. Sometimes, that involved returning to graduate school, or working at a job. Other Septembers, I was at this same stage – trying to sort out what my focus would be.

We all know it’s like the beginning of a new year, and often we look forward to it. But when summer still waves her wand to produce these glorious blue skies and sunny days, we want to bask in that magic. In Vancouver, so much rain – monsoons (no kidding!), where this year’s June we termed “Junuary,” and by July we wondered if summer would ever come; by that month, I truly felt compassion for all the out-door lifeguards (I used to be one – years ago). So, with such history of bad weather here, and wanting to appreciate the sun when it arrives, no wonder it’s hard to settle in here at my desk! I’m still living summertime, where, according to Cole Porter in Porgy & Bess, “the living is easy.” But I am not feeling easy about September.

I kinda think I’m not the only one with these feelings. If you’re having them too, please know you’re not alone.

But what to do about them?

Ah… so I’m going to do a very few tasks today – like maybe try to clean off my desk. And then, I’m going to treat myself and go for a long amble along the seawall,  where I shall sit on a park bench and languish in the loveliness of this good weather gift.

Yes, even though this fall is a new beginning, it’s still a shock to the system when it comes. So, just as when our child goes off to school and comes home starry-eyed, but overwhelmed with her homework, we must be gentle with that child, and advise her to go slowly because she will soon be able to hold it all in her head and she’ll move forward. We older adults, many in our late 50’s and 60’s or 70′s,  need to be gentle with ourselves too. Light will shine into our foggy brains, and if we remain compassionate with self, we can bring that summer light into our new fall, so it brightens every cell within, and nourishes desires.

We all want to move forward, so today, all I can do is to trust that I’m on the right track – even if I’m not fully conscious of what that is. I trust that my higher Self guides me and leads me to greater clarity; to take action on what is necessary – and to smile, be compassionate and love my life! What’s better than that? Clarity will come!

© Melba Burns, Ph.D.

Oh Poet,
Victim of old injury
Please bury the old tattered bloody rage
So we can see your wholeness.

Oh Writer,
You may not want my support
But I am here.
Please resist no more
Please open up to receive the love
So you can move forward
Knowing you’re not alone.

Oh Love,
Let me ride you as you soar to the stars
Passing moon and northern lights
And all the filigreed planets in that blue-black sky
The velvet satin inviting your soul back in.

Oh Creative One,
I am always with you
Together, we can create
Whatever you desire,
Reach up for me.

© Melba Burns, Ph.D.

We’re hard on ourselves, especially around the busiest times of the year, when we’re planning some huge event; when we’re stressed out. Does that mean we shouldn’t set our sights so high? That we should play small?  No. It just means that we humans are fallible, that we need bite-sized pieces towards attaining something.

“Take tiny steps,” a teacher advised me.  So, if we want to write the great North American novel, we have to first put those little words on a blank page, then keep on going. Along the way, we may want to quit, we may veer away from it.  But do it anyway.  It may NOT be the great American novel, but it will be your unique book.

Go for greatness, but don’t let the term scare you.

Greatness means having the courage to face your littleness — the one that wants to puff up your ego because you feel so tiny. Greatness means to face the fear and do it anyway.  Greatness means to be still, to allow whatever wants to emerge, to do just that. Greatness means to continue to live fully with all of your self, even though you know you are a human being with limitations, with bad habits, with old patterns.

Greatness also means to call forth that higher self and let her express; to give Self time. Doing so, you feel your vulnerability — as well as your deeper connection to it all.

If everyone aimed for our fullest expression of self, we could heal the planet. We may very well live happier lives, accepting ourselves as we are. Loving what is. When we do that, we are also kinder to those around us.

So, go for your Greatness, and love the small, tiny human being with all her foibles too.  Love counts.

(c) Melba Burns, Ph.D.

In another article on brain research, William Harms (January 13, 2001) discovered that, just before an exam, if students wrote for ten minutes about what was causing them fear, their test results indicated increased test performance. (Harmes, Writing about worries eases anxiety and improves test performance, UChicago News, The Web).

I love reading about brain improvement in scientific studies, because it underscores my own experience with writing, over 50 years of practice. Yes, if I am experiencing insomnia, I finally turn on my light, reach for my pen and notebook, and write whatever comes out – and upon the completion of those few words, I can sleep.  Two of those poems are as follows…

You wonder
Who writes this stuff
In the early morning hours, eh?
Some urchin
Compels you
To reach for your pen
And follow its ramblings
Even if your head is still
On the pillow,
You watch that purple pen spew out the dark
Into whatever receptacle
Will hold it
And then, comes the light.

Trickster Mind

Earplugs still in,
All is silent
But my chattering nattering niggling mind.
    Turn on the lamp
Shed light upon it
Nothing’s coming now
How can I go still
When a moment ago,
The chattering was shouting!!!

After writing this, I was able to sleep.

            Similarly, if I awaken with negative thoughts, once I write them out they are gone from my mind – and I can focus upon the more positive attitudes and thereby create an easier day for myself.

            I have often used the healing ability of writing to lift me up from a challenge, or, at least, move me through it with greater ease. So, writing doesn’t just improve test performance, it improves your performance through life. Once it’s written down, dumped onto the page, it seems as if you’ve done a little surgical operation on your brain.

            Try it. You will feel better – and your life will look rosier.

            According to some of the research now, your brain will have made more synaptic connections and you will feel more empowered throughout your day.

(c) M. Burns, 4/9/05