At this moment, confusion reigns!
There are so many ideas, so many projects to complete, so many blogs to write, so many classes to lead and tele-seminars to take – but where do I start?
Ever felt this way?
In earlier years, these fall days were clear: Prepare for school. Then, in later years, prepare the kids for school; go shopping for their clothes and supplies. Later, when they were gone, prepare myself for what I had planned for the fall. Sometimes, that involved returning to graduate school, or working at a job. Other Septembers, I was at this same stage – trying to sort out what my focus would be.
We all know it’s like the beginning of a new year, and often we look forward to it. But when summer still waves her wand to produce these glorious blue skies and sunny days, we want to bask in that magic. In Vancouver, so much rain – monsoons (no kidding!), where this year’s June we termed “Junuary,” and by July we wondered if summer would ever come; by that month, I truly felt compassion for all the out-door lifeguards (I used to be one – years ago). So, with such history of bad weather here, and wanting to appreciate the sun when it arrives, no wonder it’s hard to settle in here at my desk! I’m still living summertime, where, according to Cole Porter in Porgy & Bess, “the living is easy.” But I am not feeling easy about September.
I kinda think I’m not the only one with these feelings. If you’re having them too, please know you’re not alone.
But what to do about them?
Ah… so I’m going to do a very few tasks today – like maybe try to clean off my desk. And then, I’m going to treat myself and go for a long amble along the seawall, where I shall sit on a park bench and languish in the loveliness of this good weather gift.
Yes, even though this fall is a new beginning, it’s still a shock to the system when it comes. So, just as when our child goes off to school and comes home starry-eyed, but overwhelmed with her homework, we must be gentle with that child, and advise her to go slowly because she will soon be able to hold it all in her head and she’ll move forward. We older adults, many in our late 50’s and 60’s or 70′s, need to be gentle with ourselves too. Light will shine into our foggy brains, and if we remain compassionate with self, we can bring that summer light into our new fall, so it brightens every cell within, and nourishes desires.
We all want to move forward, so today, all I can do is to trust that I’m on the right track – even if I’m not fully conscious of what that is. I trust that my higher Self guides me and leads me to greater clarity; to take action on what is necessary – and to smile, be compassionate and love my life! What’s better than that? Clarity will come!
© Melba Burns, Ph.D.